CUSTODY OF CHILDREN AFTER DIVORCE

CHILD CARE 
The process of Divorce is indeed painful. And if the misery of a prolonged battle for custody and monetary settlements are added to it then it is almost excruciating. Children from such a marriage
are usually seen to be laboring under considerable emotional stress already and a custody battle is agonizing for them as well.

In some cases though, it is imperative to discuss the question of child custody before the couple legally separate. The question of custody being an almost predominant issue in divorce suits you would be wise to update yourself about the nitty-gritty’s of the issue so that you can make a well informed decision.

Let us start from the basics. ‘Child custody’ is also referred to as ‘guardianship’, both of which are part legal terminology. The terms convey the sense of a lawful and realistic bond between parents and their children whereby the parents are required to look after the children and can decide on important questions on the children’s behalf.

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child having been approved in many different countries all over the world, more emphasis is now placed on the concepts of ‘contact’ and of ‘residence’, which constitutes the concept of ‘visitation’ in the United Sates of America.

This is a divergence from a former tradition of dwelling on the concepts of ‘access’ and ‘custody’. In legal jargon and otherwise, a child may ‘reside’ or be in ‘contact’ with one of its parents rather than a parent having its ‘custody’ or ‘access’ to it. Such newly developed international categorizations all fall under the focus of ‘parental responsibility’.

In a divorce case where the couple fights over rights to custody, such terms as the above mentioned are used liberally. But which parent is to granted custody of the child finally is decided upon only after consulting a parameter which considers the child’s well-being and best interest.

It is usually the lawyers who help the couple to determine the custody rights amongst themselves. If the couple is unable to conclude this discussion satisfactorily and no agreement is reached then the case is presented before a court of law which makes the decision on their behalf. Child custody and visitation rights are decided upon by the following methods:

• Settlement between the parents themselves: In this case an unofficial meeting is held between the couple, and their respective lawyers are allowed to guide them properly. If a conclusion is reached then an out-of-court settlement is called for. This in turn calls for an intercession of sorts or the use of laws related to collaboration.

• Verdict announced by the court: If the separation is especially unsavory, then the couple is usually unable to reach a conclusion about custody on their own. Even then an acrimonious divorce often involves violent disagreements about child custody and visitation. In such situations the court is the ideal body which can make the final decision for the benefit of the child.

In court battles exclusive custody rights is generally awarded to the mother of the child. This is quite strictly adhered to when child in question is very young or a minor. In custody battles involving unmarried couples also guardianship is awarded to the mother. If the father of the child wants to contest this he can appeal the decision but the ruling is often not in his favor, especially if the woman can prove that she has good parenting capabilities.

Upon certain occasions, people who are not the child’s actual parents may wish to obtain guardianship. Such people are generally related to the child or have been intimate friends with the family. Although the court is unusually strict in dealing with such procedures and weighs the situation with care, if the parents’ incapacity as good guardians is proved then guardianship may be given to the other claimants of guardianship.

Getting Ready for Child Custody Trials 

This is perhaps the most unpleasant part of divorce proceedings. Both you and your spouse fight tooth and nail to get child custody, each believing that he/she will provide for a secure future for the child, and take care of the child’s needs. What follows is a rigorous trial which you must get prepared for if you have the best interests of your child at heart.

In these times, it is no longer taken for granted that the mother shall be provided with the custody as has been the norm for quite some time. Instead, the judges lay weight on which parent can provide for both emotional and physiological development of the child. It depends on the environment you will be able to offer the child.

And hence, to get the custody of your child you need to prove your mettle. The judge will thoroughly scrutinize every aspect of your skills as a parent and your level of communication with the child.  This requires a lot of documented proof and evidence or authentication from witnesses to prove your case. 

The above mentioned point is the crucial one that must be remembered. Keep detailed and reliable account during the child custody trials. It requires a considerable amount of preparation to demonstrate to the judge in your case that you have been able to provide a proper nurturing environment for your children. This includes keeping a record of your spouse’s failings.

Here are a few points that could illustrate your parenting skills:

1. Be present at all school activities, especially those parent-teacher meetings, special assemblies, annual school plays and sports day. Keep a track of the child’s development by interacting with the class teachers.

2. Go for regular visits to the doctor and the dentist. Medical records are essential in such a trial, and it proves that you are conscious of your child’s overall health.

3. Make sure your child is brought up amidst a social environment and maintains a healthy relationship with his/her friends and relatives.

4. Spend time with your children. Plan surprise parties, picnics or go out for trips that will help you understand the interests of your child.

5. Talk to your children; find out their point of view.

Witnesses who have seen your proficiency as a parent will aid you in your case to a large extent.

Some details that you could provide against your spouse might include- busy work schedules that prevent his/her interaction with the child, failure to provide monetary support to the children, domestic violence, mental instability, adultery and more.

Make sure you have a record of all your statements or else the trial will turn against you.Documented proof is a must.